Tongue and Cheek Five

On the weekdays, whenever I'm home from school, I'll get Christians coming up to my door.

They ask me if I've found Jesus yet.

I tell them, "Why, yes, I have. Would you like to see him?"

They look at me, perplexed, and then just accept it.


...


So I lead them to my garage.

Chained up on the floor, in a gimp's outfit, is Jesús.

I unzip his mask and tell him to say his prayers.

He does.

And then I tell them that it's okay. Because we only yell "God's Name" every day for at LEAST 4 hours.

And that I love Jesús and Jesús loves everyone else because he's a dirty little slut.